Always Have, Always Will
by jublke
Summary: A one-shot for my fellow RaiN shippers. Set just after the season finale, 10x19, "Habeas Corpse." Because there's no way Natalia wouldn't confront Ryan after that scene in the bar.


I don't own _CSI: Miami_. If I did, it would still be on the air. And I'd bring Alexx back and give Walter more screen time.

My thanks to Gooniegirl3333 for reading this over for me. Any remaining errors are mine.

This is a one-shot for all of you RaiN shippers ... :)

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His luck ran out before he reached the car. She confronted him in the parking lot, hands on her hips, brown eyes wild with fury. "What did you mean back there?"

He turned around, car keys in hand, and stared at her. "What're you talking about?" His hazel eyes appeared puzzled, but he had a pretty good idea of where this conversation was headed. _No place good_ , he thought dully. He slipped his keys back into the pocket of his light grey jacket and folded his arms protectively across his chest.

Her lips were a thin line of anger. "That you wanted to 'take me right now on the table'." She made air quotes around the words, her fingers slicing the thick humid night in her fury.

He shrugged, feigning indifference. "You're the one who suggested we try the Hummer."

Her eyes flared again. "I only said that because I was with a group of men! I still can't believe you put me in that position."

He was cornered and he knew it. Throwing up his hands, he replied, "I'm sorry. I had a few drinks before you guys got there." He gave her an imploring look. "I had a rough day." She knew about the night before - he'd been drinking then too - when he got into a brutal fight and wound up waking next to a dead man.

She didn't seem to care about his hard day. The brown haired woman stepped forward and poked her index finger - hard - against his breast bone. "How could you say that?" Her eyes were brimming with tears. As she bit her lip, he felt his heart constrict painfully. "How could you say that about me?" she repeated, louder this time, her anger stronger than her pain. "We work with these people, Ryan! I have to go to back to work tomorrow and be the laughingstock of the crime lab."

"You? You're the laughingstock? I'm the one who spent months chasing a girl who not only framed me for murder, she left me for dead!"

Natalia stared at him, brown eyes narrowed. "That doesn't excuse what you did to me, Ryan. You humiliated me in public."

Ryan folded his arms again and regarded her. "I said I was sorry, Nat." He relaxed his stance fractionally and reached into his pocket for his car keys. "Look, it's been a long day. If you want, I'll publicly apologize to you at work tomorrow."

Natalia looked away and spoke in a low tone. "That's not what I want, Ryan," she all but growled, forcing the words out of her mouth. She turned back to him, a furious, imploring look on her face. "I want to know why you said it in the first place."

Ryan ran a hand through his hair and looked in every direction for inspiration. Finding none, he turned away. "Look, Nat, it was stupid, all right." He gazed back at her with a pleading look in his eyes, hoping she would let him off the hook.

"How could you? How could you treat me like a cheap piece of ass?"

Several thoughts crossed his mind at once, and his eyes burned in anger. Wisely, he bit his tongue.

When he didn't answer, she yelled again. "How could you say that? Don't I mean anything to you?"

His eyes flared as if she'd struck him with flame. "I said that, because I meant it," he yelled back, beyond furious. "You name it, Nat, any time, any day, any place."

She slapped him hard across the face. "How dare you!"

He grabbed her wrist before she could strike again. "I said it because I love you." As her eyes widened, he kissed her palm. "I'm in love with you, Natalia, but I can never have you." He dropped her hand. "And sometimes ... sometimes it drives me crazy." He lowered his eyes and spoke very softly, staring at his feet. "I really am sorry," he whispered, crossing his arms.

There was a long silence between them. A night breeze blew wisps of hair across Natalia's face as she stared at Ryan.

"What if," she said, hesitantly. "What if I wanted you to?"

He raised his face to hers, eyebrows quirking. "Throw you on the table and have my way with you?"

"Yeah." Her voice was husky.

He reached over and brushed away the hair that had crossed her face, his fingers lightly caressing her forehead. "Well, I would assume you had a fever," he said, trailing his fingers down her cheek. "Because my friend Nat wouldn't do that."

She looked up at him expectantly, a mischievous sparkle in her eyes. "Maybe not in public," she whispered breathlessly, reaching for his hands with both of hers.

He dropped one of her palms but held on to the other, gently massaging her fingers. "We'd still have a problem, then," he said, softly.

She gazed at him, her eyes the color of liquid amber and he wanted her, he wanted to melt into those eyes more than anything. But if seven years in the crime lab had taught him anything, he had learned that, like or not, he had his limits.

"I can't go out with you, Natalia," he whispered, his voice rough, forcing his eyes away as hers clouded over. He could feel her pain at his words; he had to do anything he could to stop it. So he swallowed his pride and spoke the truth. There was a hitch in his voice when he continued. "I can't go out with you because I love you too much." He swallowed hard and pulled his hand away, shaking his head and wrapping his arms around his torso. "I couldn't stand it if you left me." He ventured a glance at her, not sure what to expect. "I'd have to leave the crime lab, start a new life somewhere else. I can't take that risk."

She pulled the shaking man to her gently and rubbed his shoulders and back. "Maybe you don't have to worry about that." He blinked at her, vulnerability stamped across his face, and she continued, a trace of a smile crossing her lips. "Maybe on our first date, we could go out someplace fun. You know, like the cafe near the courthouse. And we could invite our friends along." His eyes softened as she continued. "And then, we could stand before the judge, and you could explain how you feel about me and I could do the same. Just so no one is confused, mind you. And maybe, just maybe, we could buy ourselves a special set of jewelry - some matching rings - so we could remind ourselves what good friends we are."

"Are you ... proposing to me?" He gaped at her.

She gave him a shy, crooked smile and looked at him with imploring eyes. "Maybe I am."

He pulled away then, shaking his head. "I don't want that for you, Natalia. You deserve a real wedding, not an appointment with the justice of the peace. And it'll be years before I can give you that."

She drew him to her again, holding his hands. "Ryan, you've got to believe me. That's not important to me. I did the big wedding thing with Nick and you saw how that turned out." She squeezed his hands and he ventured a smile at her. "I want this to be about us. You and me and our friends. Celebrating our life together because, as we know from our line of work, life is short. People die every day. I don't want to wait any longer." Her voice was almost a whisper. "I love you, Ryan."

He couldn't help it, there were tears in his eyes. He peeked through them at her and saw with relief that she was trying not to cry too, laughing and tearful just as he was.

She drew back from him them, holding his hands in hers, and looked him deeply in the eyes. "Ryan Wolfe, will you marry me?"

He gave her a shy smile. "Yes, Natalia Boa Vista, I will." He wrapped his arms tightly around her and ran his fingers through her dark, wavy hair. "Mine, all mine," he whispered. Drawing her in for a kiss, he brushed his lips along the nape of her neck. "I love you, Natalia. I always have, and I always will."


End file.
